Kiss Me
by samurai007
Summary: "Will you kiss me?" Tav asks in the smallest voice possible. My heart stops for a moment. "You have a boyfriend, Tav," I say. "He's a douchebag," He replies. TW: Abuse. Also GamTav.
1. Chapter 1

**So, weird AU I sorta just came up with one day?**

**Tav's in an abusive relationship and keeps going to Gamzee for help. **

**TW: Abuse**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**~0~0~0**

'Gamzee,,,can I come over again? He's mad.' The simple black text on a bright white screen sits there, staring back at me. I let out a deep breath and reply.

'Of course, you're welcome here anytime. You know that. Just be careful.'

I watch as the tiny icon in the corner of the text changes from 'sending' to 'delivered' to 'read'. Barely half a minute after it changes to 'read', he replies. 'Thank you so much, I'll be right over.'

I lock my phone, swiftly throwing it under my pillow as I get out of bed. I step into the bathroom and start putting my makeup on, quickly and almost-sloppily so it'll be covered when he gets here.

Before I know it, there's a quiet knock on the door. I yell out a "Just a minute!" in the direction of the door, finish up, and practically run to the door. I unlock it and let him in.

~0~0~0

"What did he do?" I ask, staring at Tavros, right in the eyes, not allowing him to break the eye contact. He does anyways. He looks down.

"It's not what _he _did, It's what _I_ didn't do." He answers.

I sigh. "Tav, it's never _your_ fault. He makes you think it's your fault. Now, tell me what happened," I coax him. I won't let him explain it away with his own "faults".

"Well… he asked me to clean around the apartment, right? Wash the dishes, vacuum where there's carpet and stuff. He allowed me to go out with friends, so I did. Which means I also only washed the dishes. He was on lunch break when I was out with my friends, and happened to see me with them, and I…" He trails off.

"What, Tav? What happened?"

"We went for something quick, McDonalds. _McDonalds_. I can't believe I didn't suggest something else. I should've thought about it. It's fast food. But he saw me there, and he saw what I was eating and…" He trails off again. I gently push his chin up so he'll look at me. "It was way over 800 calories, okay? That's all. He was so _mad_ when he got back from work." There was a great amount of fear in his voice. Too much.

"He was already mad at me for not keeping up with his diet. Then he noticed that there weren't any lines on the carpet, you know the ones that look all nice and straight and how you can tell it's been vacuumed? Then he asked me why the bathroom wasn't clean, and I told him it was because he hadn't asked me to clean it. And at that point he was just fuming." Tav was shaking. "But he must have had a really stressful day at work, because he wouldn't just get mad at me like this, right?" I give him a sad look, and he looks back at me, and those poor tired eyes are tear-filled and ready to spill.

"He slapped me across the face and punched me in the stomach. Then he grabbed my arm, and his grip was so strong I thought he'd crush it. He threw me against the wall. I slid down and put my hands up in defense. At that point I guess he realized what he'd done. He took hold of my wrists and pulled me back up and kissed me hard. He apologized. I ran out the door and texted you when I got out of the building." He finished explaining, his voice still shaking.

I slowly stood up and walked over to the stuffed animal Terezi hung from my ceiling a month or two ago.

I took a deep breath and punched it as hard as I could.

I watched as it swung back and forth, in a hypnotizing sort of way. It slowed down eventually. I sat down again and looked at Tavros. "I'm sorry," I said, plainly, evenly.

He was still shaking, just a bit, and his head was down.

"Tav?" I say, reaching over to him and taking his hand. I pull him out of the chair and bring him to bed. I tuck him in and go to get my sleeping bag.

"No," he says, "Don't sleep on the floor again. Come up here with me."

"Tav…you-"

"I need you. Please?" He asks, holding up the covers and patting the open area next to him. I sigh.

I pull off my shirt and put on pajama pants and join him. I cover us back up and he cuddles up against me. I hesitate, then wrap my arms around him.

After a minute, Tav looks up at me.

"Hey, Gamzee?" He whispers.

"Yeah?" I whisper back.

"Will you kiss me?" He asks in the smallest voice possible.

My heart stops for a moment.

"You have a boyfriend, Tav." I say.

"He's a douchebag," He replies.

"I can't kiss you until you break up with him, Tav."

He whines in complaint.

"Yes you_ can_," He says back.

"I _can._ But I _won't_." I tell him.

"I'm the one asking, Gamzee."

"And I'm the one sleeping." I fake some snoring noises, and he seems to give up.

After a moment of silence, "Why do you always wear makeup when I'm around?" he asks in a whisper, a hint of wonder in his voice. "Will you ever take it off around me?"

There's another pause before I answer.

"Soon." I say, not responding to the first question. "Now go to sleep, okay?" I tell him, and start softly stroking his hair.

Before I know it, his breathing slows, and there's the slightest whistle from his nose.

And then I'm drifting off, letting sleep take over and the dreams start.

The dreams are always good when I know Tavros is safe with me.

**~0~0~0**

**So how d'you like it? I'll probably have a second chapter up right after this, so read on!**

**-Samurai**


	2. Chapter 2

**Glad to see a few of you like it so far!**

**~0~0~0**

When I wake up, Tavros is still sleeping with light breaths, legs sprawled out and hands holding mine. I debate whether I should get up or not. I don't want to wake him up…he looks so peaceful. I'll only say for a bit longer.

After laying for a few more minutes, I slowly and carefully slip my hands out of his, and wait to see if he wakes up. Then I pull me arm out from under him, and again, wait to make sure he doesn't wake up. Tavros continues sleeping soundly.

I get up, and go into the bathroom to fix makeup smears. I go back into the room and turn to rummage through my closet to get a purple t-shirt and gray colored jeans.

"Woah, Gamz," Tavros says sleepily. He sits up a bit and rubs his eyes cutely.

"What?" I question.

"When didja get that tattoo?" He asks.

I look down at the Capricorn symbol on my knee.

"I've never noticed it before," he says, "But isn't it like really painful to get a tattoo on your knee?"

"Yeah, it was really painful. I got it last year since I'm a Capricorn and someone told me once that the zodiac signs correspond to certain parts of the body according to some old story. I looked it up and it said that Capricorn is knees or joints, so I had it done." I explain.

"Oh," Tav says, yawning and getting out of bed.

He walks over to me and just hugs me. We stand there for a while, which I would've expected to be awkward, but it really wasn't. Not with Tavros.

He eventually lets go and goes to turn on his phone. Almost immediately, it starts ringing.

He looks at it and sighs. I start getting dressed.

"Hello?" He answers.

I can't make out anything he's saying, but I can tell he's yelling.

Tavros murmurs apologies while the white noise of a yelling voice carries on.

Finally, he hangs up.

"I've got to go," he says, his voice sad.

"Tav, please, break up with him." I plead.

"I love him, Gamzee."

"But people get heartbroken, Tav. And he's breaking _you_."

"I'm too scared, scared that he won't accept it, and…and…" He voice drops and trails off, and his eyes get that about-to-cry look to them.

I go over to him and hug him tight and kiss his head. "Don't cry," I say into his hair, "You can do it."

He pulls away and trudges to the door to put on his shirt and jacket.

He opens the door and looks back at me.

"I'll try." He says, and that's probably the most confident statement I've heard from him for weeks.

He smiles, and I smile right back.

**~0~0~0**

**Sorry this is so short, but I felt like this was the best cutoff for this part!**

**Hope you're still likin' it so far.**

**-Samurai**


	3. Chapter 3

**Let's get into it, shall we?**

**Tavros POV**

**~0~0~0**

I really don't want to go back. He'll hit me. But I can't stay away from him.

Gamzee keeps saying I need to break up with him, but he _loves_ me and even though he hurts me sometimes, I know it.

… I don't know how I feel about Gamzee. He always cares for me and he's sweet and he would never hurt me. Maybe I can do it. I can at least try.

~0~0~0

I knock twice on the door, realizing I forgot my keys.

Not a second later the door opens and he pulls me into the entryway, shuts the door, and hugs me.

I look up to see his eyes all read, his hair all messy, and that stupid purple streak hanging in front of his face.

"Have you been crying?" I ask.

"Yes, because I love you and miss you and I thought I lost you, I'm so sorry," he says and hugs me tighter.

I sigh mentally, giving up on breaking up with him now. Maybe in a few days, when he's in a good mood.

"Eridan, no, _I'm_ sorry. I should've cleaned up and I promise I won't eat so much." I promise.

"Tav, no, you don't have to diet anymore, you're perfect, I'm sorry. I love you, and it's not okay for me to hurt you like that."

See? He does love me. And he'll stop hurting me. It'll all be okay, and Gamzee will see I'm okay with Eridan.

~0~0~0

We were just sitting normally on the couch, watching meaningless TV. Eridan leaned over suddenly and captured my lips in a rough kiss.

My eyes widened before I got used to it. He broke the kiss and climbed into my lap, grabbing my shoulders and kissing me again. I started kissing him back.

He laid me down on the couch and pulled my shirt over my head, trailing kisses down my neck now, making me squirm.

~0~0~0

I lay in bed, where we somehow transitioned to, after Eridan had gotten his fill of me, and I of him (literally.)

I nudged against him, and he put one arm around me. The other was bringing his hand closer to his mouth, breathing the chemicals of a cigarette. Smoking was his habit after we had sex. I never quite understood it, but I guess it's better than smoking before sex, right?

At least in my opinion, yes.

I slowly drifted off to sleep, Eridan's arm holding me closer to him.

**~0~0~0**

**Another short chapter…**

**-Samurai**


	4. Chapter 4

**~0~0~0**

Two days later, Eridan asks me to clean up the room before he gets home, as he's leaving for work. It's so early that I was still half-asleep when he said it. So I didn't end up doing it.

I don't know what his deal is with cleaning. He must be under a lot of stress in general, and just finding the little things.

I apologized and explained that I didn't actually know what he said. He let it slide. Maybe he has changed.

But also maybe not.

He came home around 3 pm on Thursday. He slammed the door, and that's when I got a bit worried. Something was wrong, he was mad.

I peeped out the bedroom door and saw him taking off his shoes. When he looked up, his face was angry.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked quietly, hoping he wouldn't get mad if I was nice.

"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it," he said.

"Come here," I motioned him towards me, and took a step out into the small hallway.

He did, and I pulled him into a loose hug.

He started kissing me, turning into much more, which I wasn't up for and did not want. So I told him, asking him to stop.

He ignored me and continued.

I started fighting back, putting my hands out in front of me, pushing back his chest a bit. He just still ignored me and took advantage of all my weak spots. He knows them too well.

The rest sure wasn't consensual, I can tell you that.

And that's where I decided I would draw the line.

~0~0~0

"Eridan, can I talk to you?" I already had my stuff packed up, ready to go, knowing he would just get angry and try to hurt me, so now I can say I'm just totally done, take my stuff, and leave.

He didn't seem to notice the more obvious objects that were now missing, the things that we had shared, but were originally mine. But they were packed away.

"Of course!" He answered, coming over to sit next across from me in the living room. He was interestingly chipper. It was strange for him, and I felt like breaking up with him while he's this happy will only make him madder when I've said it. I ignored the thought and carried on.

"Well, please just listen to me right now, let me say everything I'd like to say before you interrupt me. Please?" I ask, and he nods in agreement.

"Well, I want you to know that I love you." He nods, still smiling. "And I know that you love me too." He nods again. "Have you ever heard the saying, 'If you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, it 's yours, and if it doesn't, it never was,'?" He nods again, but his smile fades a bit.

"Well," I start, looking down, taking a breath, and looking back at him, "I just don't think I can do this anymore. I can't live with a fear of you hurting me. And that last time we had sex? I didn't want it. Couldn't you tell? It was rape. It was _not_ consensual, Eridan. I didn't like it."

He doesn't nod, his smile is completely gone, and his eyebrows are furrowed.

"I refuse to stay with you like this. So I'm breaking up with you, Eridan. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle this any longer. There are people who care about me, and they all tell me I need to let you go. And now I am. Please understand." I finish explaining.

I cringe at the clicking sound his mouth makes. "Really? After everything I've done for you? You're breaking up with me. I can't believe this."

"And what is it that you've done for me?" I question, my voice raising.

"Provided you with a home, loved you, cared about you, wanted you. Gave you what you need? Food, clothes, money where you needed it. You don't even have a job right now, how do you expect to be okay without me?" He thinks he's so smart, using that against me. It doesn't even change my mind in the least. He just wants me to stay.

"I have Gamzee. Gamzee loves me, cares about me, wants me. I can stay with him. He'll help until I get completely back on my feet. Right now, he's better for me than you are. I'm sorry."

"Don't even try to apologize." His voice was loud now, "Just leave. If you really don't love me and don't want me anymore, go. Go ahead, live with your little boyfriend. He's a shithead anyways, and once you realize that and decide it was a bad idea for you to trust him, you'll come back. And maybe, by then, I won't even want you. Get out of here." He growls, and I stand up, going into the bedroom and taking my previously packed possessions.

I get to the door and turn around to look at him again.  
"I hope whoever you meet realizes how horrid you are, and you'll end up just living off bitches and girls on the street because that's the only way you'll get pleasure. Enjoy your fucking life without me."

**~0~0~0**

**How is it so far? Tav is reallllyyyy ooc but w/e.**

**-Samurai**


	5. Chapter 5

**Gosh, sorry it's been so long since I updated!**

**Hopefully I can start going faster…**

**~0~0~0**

I stormed out the door, slamming it behind me. I cannot believe him. How could he say that to me? He's wrong, so wrong. He'll see.

Once I get outside, I pull out my phone and call Gamzee.

He picks up after the third ring. "Hello?" He asks in a sleepy voice. I must've woke him up.

"Ah, hi, sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Naw, it's fine, bro, what's up? Did he hurt you?" he asks, and I can hear the concern in his voice.

"Not physically, no, I, uh… I sort of need to come over. Sorry," I explain, hoping it's okay.

"Yes, of course, I'd rather have you here than there anyways. And I really don't mind, you'd be welcome to live here if you needed to. "

I sigh in relief. "Okay, I'll be there soon, thanks!"

~0~0~0

I knock on his door, swinging back on forth on the balls of my feet. It opens to reveal a familiar face full of clown makeup.

He looks down at all my stuff. "What did he do, kick you out?"

I half-nod, "Well, I kicked _myself_ out." I say, grinning.

"Tav, I told you, you can't blame yourself for this."

"No," I explain, "I broke up with him!"

He looks confused for a second, then smiles. He takes a step out to me and envelops me in a big hug, spinning around with me. "I'm so happy for you, Tav."

He takes my hand and my things and brings it all inside his small apartment. It was more like a dorm room; it was on campus, but they were the schools' "apartments". He set me up in an extra mattress until I can get a full bed set.

After that, we sit down on his small couch and watch mindless TV.

"So…" I start, looking at him after a while.

He looks at me questioningly.

"I know I asked before, but…Why do you always wear that silly makeup?" I ask, not looking at him.

When I do look at him, he looks sad. He sighs, and opens his mouth. He shuts it. When he opens it again, I speak instead. "Sorry, you don't have to explain. I was just curious."

"No, no, it's fine…I'll tell you," he says, and turns off the TV.

He leans back against the arm of the couch, and motions me over. I crawl into his lap, my back against his chest. He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my head.

"My father was schizophrenic. He was relatively sane when my brother and I were initially growing up. He started going a little crazy when I was about 8. My mother was getting scared, because she didn't understand. It ran in the family, and Dad knew it, he just never did or said anything about it. We found that out later. One night, I was about 11 years old…he was officially insane that night. My mom was tired from work and had already gone to bed. Dad was having an evening beer. He wasn't and alcoholic; but that was normal for him to do. He may have had a bit much that night, but his schizophrenia took over, and whatever insane anger he had, he took out on me. I was a room over, playing video games when I heard something glass break. I ventured into the living room, and when he saw me…the bottle had broken. It was empty, but the sharp glass was a problem. He attacked me, dragging the bottle against my face," I twitched in his arms, and my heart skipped a few beats. I couldn't breathe. He paused and held me tighter, rubbing my arm softly until I calmed down. He continued, "It got me in 3 deep scratches, starting around my left eye, and sort of slanting down and across to a little past my mouth," e paused for a w while again, taking a deep breath. "That night, after I got to the hospital and all, my mom kicked my dad out. Put him in a mental ward and told him not to come back when and if he got out. I have some pretty bad scars now, so I cover it up with this stupid makeup. You can barely tell, right?" He finished, asking a question in a rhetorical sense.

I nodded anyways, then turned my head up to look at him. He had shed a rear or two, and I asked, "Hey, you okay?" In a small voice, already knowing what he'd say.

"Fine," he answered, "I just want to hold you." And so he did, wrapping his arms even tighter around my body, and I snuggled into him.

"I've never told anyone that story before," He said plainly.

I nodded and turned my head a bit, placing a small kiss onto his neck.

He's really warm.

~0~0~0

After a while, je picked me up and carried me to my "bed", then went into the bathroom. Water ran, shut off, ran, shut off, a bottle opened, and the towel rack creaked as he presumably took one off it.

"Time for the freak show," he said, stepping out, then turning on a light near me. The scars were very visible on his face now. Long, white, raised.

~0

(Sorry weird place for POV change but)

Gamzee

"Time for the freak show," I called out, then stepped into the room, turning on a light so Tavros could actually see.

He had a _thinking_ look on his face as he examined me. I stood there for a minute, then took off my shirt and slid on some pajama pants, my usual nighttime attire.

"Come here," Tavros motioned to me, sitting up, lower half covered in blankets. I did, sitting down on top of all the blankets in front of him.

He reached over and took my face in his hands. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to stop looking at my horrid scars.

Instead, he leaned in to kiss me, hovering in front of my face. I opened my eyes, and his orangey brown eyes bore into my violet-blue ones.

I wanted to nod at him, tell him to kiss me. I'd wanted to for so long, but I'd always held back.

I wanted to.

But I pulled away, standing up and getting into my own bed, turning off the light without another look at him.

~0~0~0

I woke up late – er, early. 3 in the morning. I look around, not willing to get up and stretch or anything. I'll fall asleep eventually.

Suddenly I notice Tavros fidgeting.

He starts making small noises, in a whining sort of way.

He starts moving around even more. He must be having a bad dream or something.

I uncover myself and get out of bed. Cool air meets my warm chest and I stretch my arms, going over to Tavros.

I sit down on the edge of his mattress, avoiding his legs, and lean over him as he twists around in his sleep. I take hold of his shoulders and gently shake him. He doesn't wake up, but he stops moving, breathing softer already. I stand up to go back to my own bed, but Tavros starts moving again, and I sigh.

I lay down next to him, instead of going back to my bed. He half woke up and turned to me, putting his arms loosely around me. I held him close, kissed his forehead, and slowly fell asleep, as did he.

**~0~0~0**

**Well, hope this chapter goes down well with you guys (probably not).**

**BTW my tumblr url is captchaloguer**

**in case any of you wanted to know**

**follow me (shameless self-promo)**

**-Samurai**


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